Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Tend to change

As you know, I truly dislike my current looks and image. Especially my hair. Before this, I am no really care about these because I always thought that people won't mind on your looks but your heart and your attitude. Unfortunately , after I finished my diploma and started to work,this mind-setting in my life was totally change. Maybe, affected by my colleagues because they always laugh at me even though I know they are just kidding. In the beginning, I am not really care about this. But,seriously,time could change the anything that seems like cannot be changed,ANYTHING! No jokes!

In fact,is not because of them lar. Sometime I had noticed my old friends status, they changed a lot. At least, they dye their hair. THEY DYE THEIR HAIR!! And now,my hair is long and mess and I am looks like an ordinary human who has a lot miserable stuffs happen in the life. Oh,another word, I can considered as crazy woman.therefore, the external factor like influence by friends and the internal factor-negative image, I would set a target for me,change my external image(because I always think my internal image is good enough,Perasan)

Firstly,since my hair is the main reason caused the "not really good image" in their impression,so change this first. But how? I don't even know what's the popular hair style in nowadays fashion.
I think twice and attentively ,maybe wave curly hair style would suit for me, I mean after straighten the hair and curl the tail hair. Of course,dye the hair at the same time, I want brown color, sounds cool and I think it looks cool too.

Secondly,change my cloth style, you would never know I am always wearing t-shirt with jean and people already bored to look at me in everyday. It is the time to change my taste,dare to be different mah,right? I want to change my style into lady's style ,like office lady style. With wearing the formal collar cloth and the formal pant, fitting the watch and the necklace,WoW, I can imagine how pretty  the matching of the cloth but I don't dare to imagine it on me myself body because I admit that I such not a nice look person,indeed, I am. I am fat and dark skin,lol(a description from my crazy friend)

Next is I always believe that I will have a nice looking if I am willing to do some exercises to keep my body fit, I always believe on this. So I would dare to try something I never try before which is choose the heavily exercises to change my body shape. Of course, I know, I got asthma so I promise I will be careful and ask a friend who knows some medical aids to stay with me,always. The most importance,control myself in eating. No more McD,Starbucks,KFC, and junks.

So this is my current thinking and planning. I wish after my exam, this feeling this planning or this desire still keep in my mind. And I want to see the result before the next year Chinese new year. Will it success? To be honest, I don't know but I hope it come true in one day. But now,I seriously need to focus on my studies, after 2 weeks,is my final exam yet I still study nothing,it is kinda sad actually, I don't wish I get fail but now I can't focus on the books. Oh~~~~

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Serious Unlucky day

Compare with yesterday's event,it is so obvious that today was more unlucky than yesterday.Just read my below blog and you'll find it!

It was a lovely afternoon,and it was the time to take the lunch. Still,sunny. After around 20 minutes, it's raining but not so heavy. who knows,after that,it turns to heavy rain with some thunder sound,non-stop thunder.So we moved our place inside the cafe because the rain became heavy slowly.We just moved inside the cafe not more than 5 minutes,and there was a horrible,scary,strong thunder sound with the strong lighting happen,just hit behind us only.Oh my gosh,I can feel the power of that bloody lighting,it's powerful and strong.It was a place we sat before we moved inside. Oh my gosh,I can't imagine if we were still sit there,what will happen.Man,until now I still can't imagine what will happen if we didn't moved on.There were around 8 people altogether having lunch! And this is the 2nd time I meet the death in my life.TWICE!

So we decided to back to the office early because I don't know what will happen again if we all still there.Seriously, a big rainstorm in Miri today.Back to the office not more than 10 minutes,I had to out again because there was a training at the center,we gotta went there.Bloody hell,this was the most horrible heavy rain in my life,even the wind can blew the big trees down,destroy the ceiling of the building,destroy electricity polls, and roof,imagine how strong the power of the wind that time.The whole street and high way quite messy.And me,wanted to get inside the car,who knows I so shuai ,the advertisement banner suddenly been destroy by the bloody wind,and the banner iron hit my back side which is my shoulder until my neck there.seriously,I really wish to spread some vulgar to describe how pain am I.

Because my neck been hit by the banner iron,I have some feeling unwell which are getting the headache,dizzy,disgust,vomit and so on. I had been suspected my brain, lack of oxygen. and there is a wound at my back especially my shoulder,an obvious wound like batang shape.

Anyway,I should be grateful because I still alive. Aren't?My brain can't function properly now because I still in the nervous situation.Maybe,I need some counselling,LOL

the link about after the Big rainstorm and thunderstorm in Miri,sighing...

~Miracle,happen again~

Monday, October 29, 2012

Little fun in this unlucky day

Today,there was a little fun in the office hour,happened after the lunch. No water provided in the company as LAKU( Government company,I bet) need to make some maintenance to the broken pipe.Aha~~great great.

Almost 95% of our staff wanted to go to the toilet,unfortunately,the toilet don't have much water to flush .Me too. people wanted to go to piss,to go pangsai,yet don't know need to go where else since our company toilet cannot be used. Mati lor, suddenly stomachache, feels like #^%*+¥£€<,bla bla bla....I thought maybe after half an hour all will be normal but I was wrong,no any miracle happen neither my wish came true. Still,no water. Even wished to wash my hand I have to use my own.own water.Really #%€£<*¥!

Nevermind,I bear,I tahan! The most funny one is when I went to account department to pass my documents and I found something wrong and feeling not good at all. How come most of my colleague's face look so serious?even my friend,she looked at me with her bloody red cute face. what the **** wrong with her? Suddenly,a colleague asked me that"the toilet can flush already Kah?",oh my....pity boys and girls,you all also tahan ya. I can't control myself to laugh loudly when I looked at my friend's expression,because....because....it is too funny!!seriously,I can't stop myself to laugh with another one of my friend,just feel so lucky we didn't drink "Liang teh" during lunch,or else we might often went to that bloody public toilet too,LOL.

There is a public toilet nearby my company,my marketing colleague cannot tahan  until she just took 1 roll toilet paper and direct went to the public toilet with paying 20 cents,oh my gosh,5 minutes journey to go there. Funny scene.many colleague went there,I sure the CEO of the public toilet sure happy because he earned at least double even triple times coins than normal day.

And me,insisted wait until back home because I not really want "to make my business" in the public toilet,I rather bear until finish work and back home. Guess what happened? Constipation,bloody hell!

Lol lol lol,I still can't stop myself to laugh when im thinking back to the whole scene,we bear off in the office almost in 4 hours.can you bear not to go to the toilet within 4 hours?i pretty sure you can't !hahahaha

~everydays a bonus ~

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Do Not Fear

     11th September 2012, it was a miracle happen to a girl who has phobia in driving. Before a day to sit the exam, she wrote a status on Facebook:

"Dear all,FYI,this coming Tuesday is my driving exam. I don't know whether it's a good or bad thing,if you know my past,you definitely know how much the stress I'm facing in this 2 years.so if you treat me as your friend in your life,please pray for me,pray I won't be so nervous and calm down on that day,pray everything is going smoothly on that day. If my driving exam is fail,please don't comfort me because your sympathy may hurt my heart accidentally. Lastly,wish me luck:)"

Yeah,it's me.Because there are 2 events happen to me in the past that caused me have lost the faith in driving,scare to drive even doesn't wish to learn to drive the car in my whole life until the end of my life.

I took almost in 2 years for the whole course from attending the law class until the driving test that day.Quite a long time,isn't?Yes!Indeed it was!! How I wish I can avoid to learn to drive the car when my instructor taught me in driving.I always made the excuses to absent my driving lesson when I was learning it. See,I keep delayed and delayed,so it won't be weird if someone else can take almost in 2 years to learn to drive the car.

 Until last Sunday,when I sat into the car,my instructor informed that this coming Tuesday is my driving test day.I was like:

Get shocked.Why is me?why I need to take the test????????

My feeling was like a ship lost the direction at the middle of the sea,my mind was blank.The only thing I can do it "Pray".

My S-parking,3 point-turn always steped on the white line, my "naik bukit",I don't know how to stop my car by using the brake.And I was thinking, this time I sure get fail,gg.com(if you know what's the meaning,hehe).

I was moody,so I wrote a post on Facebook but I never thought that I could get some response in this. Some of the friends,we are kinda long time not keep in touch,suddenly came and comforted me by the words"add oil","gambateh","you can do it","don't be afraid". Honestly,it warmed my heart deeply.Suddenly,I have a little faith(how bad am I,so many people comforted me and I just give a little bit faith to myself).

By the way,thanks friends.Your prayer is actually helped me a lot.At least,God knows and I can felt it.

I slept early before the day,because I scare I will get some tired if I didn't rest well. But who knows,I suddenly woke up in 1am.What the.........I'm in  insomnia.Since I can't sleep,I listened some Christian Songs.

And the songs from Li Shang,she posted me a song to give me some moral support,and I been attracted by this song,my fear disappeared all in a sudden.in that night:

Feel free to click the link,yeah,is hillsong's song-"Do Not Fear",the lyric is from the words of Bible(Isaiah chapter 43)

I kept playing and playing this song.Until I get back to sleep.

Early in the morning,I prepared myself to go to the center for the test. What a coincidence, I met Edward(my course mate),he took the exam too.Lol,gambateh to we both.So we discussed and talked for the whole morning until he took the test.Looks like he's more stable than me. He passed all for the inside session.Congratulation to him.
hen I was alone,the phobia and the fear started appeared again. Hard breath,fast heart-beat and so on,that's the symptom of phobia.I cried,no one was beside me when I need supports,when I need helps.

I been waiting for a few hours,from 9am plus until 2pm plus,do you think that I can not to think so much possibility in this few hours?Suddenly,the song"Do Not Fear"popped out in my mind,I immediate played this song,repeated and repeated again.And I kept praying,how I hope God will listen my prayer.what a silly girl,of course I know God will listen my prayer,is I have no confidence to myself.

When I sat there,I just realized the exam car is using kancil,lol,FYI,I never drive kancil before.It was my 1st time.More fear came out.Aduiiii.The examiner called my name.Ok,sat in the car.Wah,that's totally different with Viva,die lor die lor.

1st time,I "naik bukit",I failed.but in this part,we have 2 chances,so I still had another chance.As I said,I never drive kancil,so I never knew that the power is not sames as Viva. I started nervous.I closed my eyes(still had time to think,LOL),and took a deep breath,I think the messages from everyone who concern on me,I think what God will speak to me,I think "Do Not Fear"song,I think.........You know,all my fears was decreasing  a lot.After adjusting and gave myself an encourage,again,I "naik bukit",but this time,I DID IT!! And I wondered how I did it.(Until now,I still don't know how I through it,LOL)I smiled in the car with some tears,and said:Thanks God,You always beside me no matter what.

S-parking and 3 point-turn.S-parking was in my expectation,and 3 point-turn,the examiner gave me some tips how to through it and I just can passed it.I kinda lucky because I met the examiner that giving the tip how to drive through in 3 point-turn.

My instructor was the most happy one because I passed all the parts for inside session.Probably he doesn't want to see my face again in his lessons,I guess,LOL.And What's the next?awaiting the outside session test, Outside session is using Viva as the exam car. But we waited quite a long time until the inside session already finished yet still had a lot people awaited the outside session exam.

No choice lor,the 2 examiners whom examined inside session used that 2 kancil to use as the outside session exam car.Lol,I thought after inside session,I don't need to drive kancil anymore in my life,I was wrong.At the same time to await my turns,I made some friends at there(but I don't know their name),we were sharing our experience in learning to drive.

I also thank God for the outside session,There was the miracle,I had no fear when I drove, seriously,NO MORE FEARS inside my heart,I was thinking:wah,the power of praying is strong.So guys,DO NOT LOOK DOWN THE POWER OF PRAYING. Every single prayer God is listening.

The examiner was actually asked me to drive to road B.But road B so many check-point need to slow down,so I requested that I want drive to road C.He hesitated for a while and looked at me(maybe he saw I wore face-mask and kept sneezing),so he approved my permission. Wow such a great examiner I ever met.

In normal time I drove to Road C,there was many cars passed by and get some small traffic jam at road-about.But this time,no cars on the road.God is so good to me.  I drove as I wish on the road like a boss and arrived to the finish point safely.Honestly,I never drove very well in previous time when I was learning.NEVER!Phew,Thank you God. The examiners gave me 19 points.19 POINTS!!!Wow,that's the best result I get in my life.

So I immediate post on Facebook:

"Today was my driving exam day.while I was awaiting my turn,the fear from my heart 

made myself get in a very down situation until I cried,but when I get the calling,the MSG even fb comments from all of you,it warm my heart. When I took the inside session exam, my fear was decreasing a lot and the examiners gave me the supports and helps,so I'm quite lucky to pass the session 1 exam. And the outside session,There was a miracle,I had no fear inside my heart,this was the most stable and well performance since I'm learning to drive. I believe God always by my side,so everything was going' smoothly.Guys,don't you know?your prayer,your moral support,your blessing have help me to make a wonderful testimony to God.indeed,it is.next time,I will update my blog about how's your prayer works on a person who have phobia on driving, a detail testimony. Thank you everyone,and finally I officially to say that: I pass my driving exam!thank you all,love you all:)"

Guys,I pass it. 

                         I PASS IT!!!!!!

A person who has phobia finally pass her driving test. Can you imagine?I never though this will happen to me in some day.Never!I thank you all of you who concern me,I thank you God for always look after me,I thank you everyone who helped me always.

Really really appreciate so so much.Your prayer,your supports really helped me a lot.I LOVE YOU ALL.MUACKSS.
God,thank you very much,Although I haven't conquer my phobia completely,I sure You will guide me,help me to go through,aren't?

And,guys,do you?

(Until now I still can't believe I pass my driving test, unbelievable,I have to say that my P license is containing God's grace,warmth of friendship and my effort.)


--Believe,makes the miracle--

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Learning,never say old

Some people always saying:I wanna learn this,learn that badly,

But then when asking them go to learn or join it ,they are probably will say:

Aiya,don't fool me lah,I'm old,what do you expect I can learning how fast and well as I can.

When I get this answer, I answered it in my heart: Old? Are you 70 or 80 years old?

People!! You shouldn't have this answer in your life.NEVER!! I saw Auntie or Uncle learn to drive the car at learning center, they have no any complaint or comments, so,there are no excuses for you to say that:

Aiya,don't fool me lah,I'm old,what do you expect I can learning how fast and well as I can.

I don't know how to play piano,but I try hard. I'm 21st years old,but I never saying this

Aiya,don't fool me lah,I'm old,what do you expect I can learning how fast and well as I can.

I learn, I research,do anything to improve my skills.

The reason is just so simple....

Learning, is doesn't matter of the ages, is about your heart.

Never say old to yourself, or else you get nothing.

The above blog actually is writing to myself,because some time I will get the weird opinion in my mind.
Like this:

Aiya,don't fool me lah,I'm old,what do you expect I can learning how fast and well as I can.


Someone has ask me how to learn the piano in youtube.
Nah,mandarin one. This is a very useful video clip for your 1st learning.All the best~
(I think you will understand gua=.=)


Monday, July 2, 2012

I'm awesome and I know it

As you know(if you had read my previous post),I love music so so much,it such my 3rd oxygen in my life(my 2nd oxygen is my religion),I can't love without it. At the same time(If you had read my previous post carefully,LOL),I'm a composer but I have to say that I am not so professional as I don'y have the higher certificate to support my music knowledge.

AT LEAST, I know something about music as well.

Few days ago, I do it all alone, can you imagine that?

I composed.

Writing the lyric.

Making the sound recording.

And singing.

Of course, this is not the actual situation. Just something similar with the above pictures.

Ok, let me tell you what ins-pirates me always in composing. Sometimes, some rhythm or tempo or beats could just give me the inspiration. How to say...Hmmm,I give the simple example.

Let say 4 beats tempo. 1,2,3,4 in a bar..that's easy,right?Ok,we add in some pattern of this.

1&2&3&4& in a bar. Means there are 8 notes in a bar. we could make it more interesting!

Have you play drums? do you know the sounds of drum? The bass sound is "Dun" or"Tun"(I don't know how to pronoun the sound,hehe),the snare sound is "Tak".

"Dun" or bass sound basically in 1st beat &3rd beat while "Tak" or the snare sound always at the 2nd or 4th sound.

The very basic drum beats is "Dun", "Tak", "Dun Dun","Tak" with Hi-hats.

Ok,now if you wish to play the rock or quite "high","fast" or jazz music,you may try this pattern:

"Dun Dun","Tak Tak","Dun Dun","Tak"..."Dun Dun", "Tak Tak","Dun Dun",Tak", "Dun Dun","Tak","Dun","Tak Tak Tak". Such this beats pattern always ins-pirates me in composing.

Ok, if you don't understand the above,there are another way you may try it and it is much easy and simple than above.

Using this

Those who studying music,I pretty sure you know what is this. Aren't? This is a very useful tool for making the music,the coordination or the arrangement of the music. So if you really really really want to compose the song to your lover,to your family,to your friends, but you do not know what to do,you may try this.

Haha,back to topic,yep,I'm making something I never try and I never make it before,but i really did it.

I do it all alone!!

Clap your hand,please!!*clap clap clap*

I composed and wrote the lyric(but in fact,I had asked people to make change to my lyric since I don't have a good literacy,haiz,big sad*crying*),and I made the coordination and the arrangement, thus doing the sound recording and...the most difficult part--

I'm singing.

I had tried my to sing over and over again.(I'm perfectionist bah.)
And finally,I did it.

(Once again,clap your hand).

Yep,that's why I said

I'm awesome and I know it..

Queenyo in the house!

please don't envy on me.Jokes.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Call me Queenyo

Hi,ya,it's me....

I'm back with  a new name,Queenyo, it's my online pseudonym obviously.

Ok,now,let me explain why am i choosing "Queenyo" as my pseudonym.

First,my real name is so ordinary and I pretty sure there are a lots people(they could be the little girl, or a pretty lady,or a woman even your mother or your grandma.) named "Esther", am i right? So,if you don't know who am i, will you remember my name after reading my blog? Or,if I'm using "Queenyo" to write the blog and you read it,will it much more better?Perhaps you forget what am I writing about but at least you remember my name,right?

Next, why "Queenyo"?

A nice little story behind the name:

Once upon time....

Wait wait, is just a few week ago event,Ok?

Oh ya,Ok, one more time.

Few weeks ago, there is a girl who called Kingyo , I don't know who is she, she came in my life and makes my life awesome in a sudden. She is an author, she have a power, a mystery magic power to make me to enter her life through the blogs she wrote unwittingly. What's the power? What's the power makes me being so unconsciously to enter her life?

Kingyo Shan,Kingyo Shan, sounds familiar, do i met you before?do i know you? Argh, i can't remember all of this. Do you know me?who are you? Kingyo Shan.....Argh, I see a scene ,I see a scene, I SEE A SCENE!! Is that you?Is that you,Kingyo Shan?

5 minutes later,calm down....

I saw her,a girl,she looks so hesitate and hover,she seems like need someone's help, i saw a lot people surround her but no one could give her a hand. what happen? she is fretful,i could see her helpless in her eyes. is KINGYO SHAN!What happen to her?Can anyone tell me?unfortunately,they can't see me. I'm invisible. Thus, i saw another girl, is me!!why I am there? I saw I took out a key,is my key!!my locker key!! Wait wait,what the hell I'm doing? I used my key to to to...?!?the locker door was opened!!

Oh My Gosh, Is she...I remember who is she!!Kingyo Shan..

---------The End--------

Haha, Kingyo is an author. Queenyo is a composer but Queenyo learn to write an article or a little story. so,how?Kingyo,how is my little story?Not bad gua...

I neither am a professional author nor a good writer; I neither have an amazing imagination nor a good literacy, but I'm trying. so give me some time to make myself being a good author, Can?So just wait my next blog about my interesting life story.

lastly,promoting Kingyo's blog,I'm sure you will enjoy to read her blog because she is an awesome author=)


Thursday, April 19, 2012

Not stress but motivation

Well,I have to say that.........
Arghhhh,so many things to dooooo
But it's ok,I still can manage
If not like that,I won't ever know my capacity
It's such a great experience for me to train my character
Voon Hui's right,I shouldn't continue to stay in my comfortable zone
Or else I can't learn to be independent
I have to be strong.

Over this 2 week,I'll be busy due to youth day,music camp and so on.
After 29/04/2012,I can have some rest,but Starting on May,I will start my busy days like a boss until on Aug or Sept.So,about my studies,neither delay it nor choosing the local university.I have no choice.sad case.

To manage all my schedule,activities,I don't feel any stress because I never let the stress to conquer me.Never. Yep,sometimes I might be negative,or ,moody but I never surrendered to the stress.I treat it as my motivation.Why?It can train me to become the best,of myself.
Instead using stress,the negative adjective,I rather use motivation,the positive word to describe.

Aha,by the way,this is my 1st time using the phone to update my blog.I know there have some
mistakes,because I can't see the whole page of the blog,and sometime the phone will auto
change my words and the meaning.So,apologize if offense your feeling truly sorry.

Lastly,I know and I can feel who really cares for me,loves me,I love you guys too.

Anyway,have a nice day to those who concerns me.hehe

Sunday, March 11, 2012

well well

well well,i kinda busy recently....but i promise i will keep updating my blog if i have time...since now i have 30 minutes free (later need to go out,again)..aiyo,just come up write something lo....

To describe my life,what i only can say is bussssssssssssy but wonderful!!!
how to say?what a long story to tell..well,wait i really have some time,i will update my blog with my life story,one by one...

In this 2 or 3 months,there could happen a lot of things,so here am i....sad,happy,angry,frustrated,moody (actually i called it "emo"),a lot of feelings,but i never give up,nor i evade it.I'm glad that when i was down, there are some of my friends just besides me(even the friends study outside also giving me some warmth through the messages or phone calls or internet chat tool,etc).they comfort me,gave me a hug or anything that can do for me).

wait wait,i rush of time now...just wait me update my blog next time.i can't write a lot from here.....bye and i love those who really loves me and care me..*hugggggggggs*